I knocked on the door with three solid knocks and waited what seemed to be the longest thirty seconds of my life. Finally I heard some noise and the door opened up to the gorgeous face of Lucas’ mother standing before me. Well, usually she was gorgeous but right now she looked like she had been bawling her eyes out and drinking for days with no sleep. Her eyes were red and puffy, they were swollen and she had bags under them that showed she was more than a little bit exhausted. She probably hadn’t slept well in months and I felt pangs of guilt for doing that to her. She stood there for a short time trying to figure out who I was and what I was doing there before finally speaking.
“I’m sorry; I wasn’t expecting anyone to stop by.” She wiped away some of her tears trying to regain her composure.
“I hope I’m not stopping by at a bad time, I was just in the neighborhood and I wanted to see how you were doing. I was a friend of Lucas from school.” Again the feeling of guilt hit me for lying to her. I suddenly felt weird being here, she looked at me confused trying to remember if she had seen me before. She must have thought about it and felt it would be good to have company to talk with about her son. The guilt turned to relief as I saw her eyebrows relax from their upraised position. A small smile broke out on her lips bringing back a touch of that beautiful woman I knew she was.
“Well come on in, it’s been a while since I have gotten the opportunity to talk with a friend of my sons.” Her entire mood seemed to lighten now, she definitely had to have heard about me when we got into our fight and got suspended, but with her son being gone and her newly formed habit of drinking, she accepted my being a friend of Lucas with absolutely no further line of questioning to prove it. She was happy to see anyone from her son’s life and as I stepped into the doorway, she even gave me a nice warm hug before letting me step inside the house. I felt her warm skin through her shirt and realized that she wasn’t wearing a bra, I wondered if she was wearing panties.
“Please, have a seat.” She told me as she motioned with her hand for me to sit down on the two cushioned thick comfy couch that was part of a new furniture set she had bought. No doubt she bought it to get rid of the old furniture that her husband liked to spend his life on. “Would you like something to drink?” She asked me.
“Thank you, that sounds great.” I told her as she gave me a little smile and turned around to walk back towards the kitchen. It was amazing how much a simple thing as a smile could light up her entire face. What had a minute ago seemed like an aged depressed face had suddenly lost ten years and seemed to be losing more by the minute. I knew that she didn’t go anywhere anymore; she had quit her job and become a hermit. I had snuck by a few times to see her and had been lucky to catch her on a couple of nights when she was in a better mood. One night in particular I found her masturbating and I finished myself off with her underneath the window. Any other time she would be crying and cursing her husband for being the alcoholic killer she would always remember him as. I could hear her shuffling around and I heard the water being turned on, I realized that she had gone in to compose herself, maybe splash a little cold water on her face. After about five minutes she came back out looking miraculous. She had dressed in a simple pair of blue sweat bottoms that had “juicy” written across her ass, and a light blue t shirt. She had done something to her face that made the puffiness invisible and had pulled her hair up into a scrunchie letting her face be seen in full. I almost couldn’t stop looking at her.
She came back in and handed me a cold can of Cola. She had gotten herself another beer, which didn’t surprise me but I said nothing. “It’s hard losing a son to a psychotic husband.” she told me as she took a long drink of her beer.
“I think you deserved much better than someone like that. I can’t believe he went so far!” I could see her eyes narrow as he was mentioned but she agreed with a nod and drank the rest of her beer down, going back into the kitchen to get another one she downed almost just as fast. Her trips to the kitchen were finally slowing down after 5 beers that I had counted. She didn’t talk very much at first; I wasn’t sure what to tell her about Lucas, I just recanted things I had seen him do before when I was trying not to be noticed by him. There were times he might smile at girls, or other times when people might laugh about things that he said. I tried to stay on the friend side of stories. Mentioning things about him that seemed to impress the friends he hung out with. I talked about how he was good at sports, and had a charisma that people seemed to like even though to me in reality, he was just an asshole. I didn’t tell her that of course. I mentioned anything I could remember about him that could make her smile. She began laughing after a while, remembering her son and listening to me tell her the memories I could pull out of my ass. Then out of nowhere she began to cry.
“This is all my fault.” She sobbed between deep breaths and embarrassed looks my way. “Lucas only died because I refused to do what I should have done a long time ago and left his father’s ass. I don’t even know what kept me with him for so long, he didn’t do anything but speak hypocrisies and beat us both whenever he was in a bad mood, which was all the time!”
“Hey, hey,” I tell her, reaching over giving her a hug, which she sunk right into. “None of that was ever your fault,” I rubbed her back lightly while keeping her in a tight embrace. Her body softened in my arms. I could tell she needed this kind of attention and I was growing more excited by the second. I had gotten into significant shape since her son was alive; I liked to keep my body as fit as I could now so that I never have to go through a situation like tripping over something while trying to kill someone. Next time something like that happened I might not be so lucky.
She was so tired of being here alone and having nobody around. All of her friends had quit talking to her long ago because she fought with them over her drunken husband and they moved on. She also didn’t have parents that were close to her. She was truly all by herself. She started to pull away a bit and I hugged her a little tighter taking a chance and letting my lust take over hoping she felt the energy and responded to it. She started lightly shivering and moved her face up to look into my eyes. I took the opportunity and moved in fast to kiss her softly on the lips. She stared blankly at me for a few seconds having what must have been a good fight in her mind. Then she began pulling my head to hers and French kissing me hungrily. I kissed back just as passionately; I had wanted this for a long time. I was rubbing her shoulders and moving my hands lightly down her arms making my way toward her breasts. She let it happen, I figured the alcohol was doing its part to help me accomplish this so easily but I didn’t care. It was like a dream come true and I didn’t ever want to wake up. I squeezed her ample breasts lightly amazed at how solid they felt getting much more than a handful, they were just as perfect as I had always imagined.
A light moan escaped her lips as she kissed me, growing more passionate by the second. I knew that this was no ordinary make out session, this was heading only one place, and it was a place I wanted to be more than anything else. I could resist no longer, I moved my left hand softly down the side of her face, softly touching her face under her chin, as I moved my right hand down to her thighs. Her sweats were elastic and I easily slid my hand inside them confirming officially that she was indeed not wearing panties. I let my fingers explore and felt her moistened and warm pussy lips, she was soaked already. I couldn’t help it, I started shaking. I wasn’t sure why, it wasn’t cold inside but I couldn’t stop it. I was so excited. She seemed to like that because she smiled and started rubbing my crotch. I was already hard being so excited and she unbuttoned the front of my pants pulling out my cock and licking her lips before she started sucking on it.
She was moaning as she sucked on me as if I was the most delicious thing she had ever tasted. I felt myself about to explode already as she sucked and she pulled me closer grabbing my ass and shoving me deeper in her throat than I had even been inside of my own hand before. I couldn’t help it, knowing she wanted it so bad I pumped the biggest load I had ever shot out of me, inside her mouth. She stroked it slowly clamping around my dick with her lips and tongue milking every drop into her throat. She swallowed it all down and used her hands to help ease it all out. She softly sucked on me for another minute like my dick was a cream filled popsicle trying to get every drop down. I was still rock hard, so she turned around and pulled her pants down just below her ass, offering her most intimate parts to me.
She was so wet that I slid right inside; I slid in so fast in fact that I almost lost my balance. This was everything I had imagined it being, I wanted to stay here forever inside of her. I was surprised at how well she hugged my dick, I didn’t figure on her being so tight but that proved me wrong with every stroke. We didn’t even have to leave the bed; I had never been more comfortable or felt so right. The circumstances could have been better but besides that this was my new heaven. I started thrusting as deep as I could inside of her giving her every inch that I had to give as powerfully as my hips would allow. “That feels so good, I’m going to cum.” She said, in such an erotic way that I felt myself starting to get that feeling like I was going to cum again. I could feel her pussy contracting around me and I couldn’t help but let my 2nd load go, this time inside her. I could feel her cum as she got much wetter. I let her throbbing subside while stroking with nice deep pumps both of us using each other to milk the other completely. She started to moan again and I knew she was going to cum once more. When she was done and I was emptied I was still pretty hard so I figured I would try some dirty talk. She kept rocking back into me and I knew I could keep going for her.
“Yeah baby, fuck that pain away.”
I instantly wished I hadn’t said that. The entire mood changed with those words as she backed off of me, easing my dick out of her. She sat there for a minute in awkward silence suddenly looking horrified. The look on her face said that I had just reminded her of what was really going on, and she was ashamed. I watched her face turn down, and the color in her face first flushed and then paled, as she ran through what was happening in her mind. “What have I done?” She asked. I didn’t think she was actually asking me but rather talking out loud so I said nothing. I could see the shame on her face as she apologized profusely over and over again saying: “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” She began crying again. “What kind of a cougar am I?” I could hear her asking between her sobs. I’m no better than a drunken pedophile!
“I’m old enough to have wanted this myself!” I tried to reassure her, but I had no argument that she would listen to. It had been a while since Lucas had died but to her he was still 16. In her mind I was suddenly a child and she was upset with herself. I was more upset at myself for saying something so stupid at such a horrible time.
“I think that I need you to go… please.” She said to me with a tone in her voice that said there would be no changing her mind. I was feeling more awkward by the second so I reluctantly agreed with her. Her eyes had gone empty, maybe it would be better if I left now and gave her time to calm down. I suddenly felt like I had ruined her entire life and the sad truth was that I had. I got up and got dressed having a hard time looking at her because it just made me sad all over again. I went over to where she was sitting facing the other way and tried to give her a hug and a kiss goodbye. She didn’t even look at me, just sat there, I gave her a light kiss on the corner of her mouth but she didn’t react besides her lip quivering as she tried not to cry. She tensed as I hugged her making me feel like I had just raped her or something and I felt that leaving without another word was probably going to be the best course of action. I had no idea what to say to her, I felt my face growing hot and I knew that I was turning red; luckily she wasn’t looking at me.
I closed the door behind me only looking back for a second; she was walking the other way towards her room at the back of the house. I went around the back of the house so I could walk back home through the woods that connected to my property where I could be alone. I was still a bit confused about what the hell had just happened, it was like the best dream and a nightmare both rolled into one experience. How could something that was going so perfect, turn sour like that so incredibly fast? How could it get any worse? I was lost in the middle of that thought when suddenly I heard a gunshot behind me. Her window was open and it was loud and clear. I felt my shoulders go up towards the top of my head as I involuntarily jumped.
My eyes filled with tears right away and they didn’t stop even when I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to breathe anymore. I fell to my knees and cried harder than I had ever cried in my entire life. I swore I was going to die from a broken heart. When I finally could breathe again I fought gravity the best I could and got to my shaky knees. By the time I got home I could hear the sirens echoing through the trees on their way to her house. Someone must have heard the gun go off and called them. I already knew she wasn’t going to make it, she had no fight left. I had killed my first and only love, which would haunt me for the rest of my life. I wished I could take that stupid sentence back. If only…