She wanted to be with him so much she could hardly stand it. She had begun actually contemplating different scenarios that would end with her husband turning up daisies. Her husband just felt like a hindrance to her anymore, that was about it. He came home and did nothing even when he could have. She did absolutely everything for him. She cooked his meals, she washed his clothes. She even made him take off his old clothes just so that she could wash them. It was more for her, so she didn’t have to smell him. He just took it all for granted, he wouldn’t even say thank you, or hug her or anything, he would just sit there, drinking his beer and watching television. She tried going through the pros and cons of staying in a marriage that wasn’t good for her in any way anymore, and the pros seriously paled in comparison to her new relationship. He made her so happy and she was so comfortable with him. She couldn’t imagine actually killing her husband though, and that part of it was making her feel uncomfortable. Still, she was impressed that she was putting so much thought into it.
Her stalker came back from the kitchen with a couple of glasses of brandy, handing one to her as he bent down to kiss her forehead. To her delight, he seemed to have dropped all of the murder talk tonight. He hadn’t mentioned it yet and she was beginning to feel quite lovely being with him. He was intoxicating to her; he had this ability to put her mind into a fog like no one else could simply by being in her presence. After a while, she began to relax into him. She was comfortable with him now, as she had been before. She noticed she couldn’t think as straight as she wanted, due to the brandy and his intoxicating conversation.
After a while of him being so charming and romantic, he started back up again with the murder talk. She was hoping that he was done with that, but he was actually making some valid points as she listened this time. It was as if everything that he had to say made complete sense to her now, yet somehow she hadn’t truly understood what he was trying to say. She was almost willing to trust him with whatever he wanted her to, she just wanted to relax and enjoy him right now. She tingled all over knowing the pleasure he could bring her. She felt like he was never going to stop talking about this until he felt she completely understood. She couldn’t focus like she wanted to; she just liked the way his voice made the hair on the back of her neck stand up.
She began to feel moved to hate her husband more as she listened to the things he was saying. He really seemed to know a lot about how to do it and get away with it though. She realized that he must have been involved in tampering with his brakes when her husband had gotten into the car accident. That thought would always start a feeling of a mini-panic against her will. She couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her, it was just an overwhelming feeling every time. She had never felt this intensely about something before and it was kind of beginning to scare her. Her fears were taking over her body visibly and without her consent. She was shaking and her lips were quivering, like she had just gotten out of a cold pool and felt a cool breeze on her goose bump filled skin. She felt these waves of what felt like vibrations, going up her body that she had never felt the likes of. Before she knew it, she felt like a little child who was about to be scolded for breaking something. She couldn’t make sense of what was happening to her, it felt like a panic attack, but she had never had one before. She had no idea what to expect. She tried taking a few deep breaths and could hear them getting faster and faster. It felt like an eternity before she felt a strong grip on her arms and a firm voice saying “Hey!” It was him she realized, as she looked into his bright green eyes in the dim of this light of the room they were in.
He pulled her close to him and she melted into his embrace. It was almost instantly and her panic dissipated like a light vapor, as did the fear. Nothing else mattered right then but his presence. She was amazed at how good she felt with him. It was like they were in their own perfect little bubble together; nothing and nobody could ever burst it. She felt at that moment that this man was her soul mate; she had never been so sure of anything else. He professed a lot of sweet words and physical touch that only further made her love him and see his sensitive side. She felt like she had only glimpsed that side of him before and now was getting a front row seat. She wanted to do anything she could do to make sure he was fulfilled. If killing her husband was one of them, then that was just what was going to have to happen. She just had to figure out a way to do it where they would get away with it. If it didn’t look like an accident or a suicide, she would be viewed as the number one suspect. If they looked into her, there was a possibility that her lover could get into trouble as well, and she had grown to really enjoy having him in her life. Either of them doing life in prison was not going to work for her.
She felt like she had reached a crossroads in her life. She was thinking about all sorts of things she would have never thought about before. She realized that he was still whispering in her ear. She hadn’t been paying much attention to it besides enjoying his soft voice and warm breath on her cheek. As she listened to his words, she was still feeling a bit cloudy and off, but she heard him say something about an acid that melts flesh and bones and her entire mood shifted again. She started feeling off and he seemed to be able to tell, he got up and put on some calming music. That seemed to sweep her away again and she soon forgot what she was feeling weird about. It was like the light in the room changed, growing dimmer in her field of vision and the atmosphere of the room shifted. She saw the clock on the wall, and heard its steady ticking. Before long, it looked like the numbers on its face were changing into black blurs. In fact, everything she looked at seemed to shapeshift into other shapes. It was all playing out a story for her without words or any true storyline, yet somehow she still had an understanding of it. She could see shadows becoming pictures forming on the wall like a slideshow slowly fading into other scenes.
She saw a castle forming from the shadows dancing around in her vision. She was aware that they probably weren’t moving but could still watch them go. Little details seemed to form as she thought about them and she could almost watch her mind unfolding visually before her. She saw a dragon come flying through the sky breathing fire like some elaborate medieval replay in vivid action. She watched for a while trying to get a sense of whether or not this visual phenomenon was trying to tell her something or if she was just having some sort of hallucinations from her anxiety attack or whatever this was!
She had forgotten about him completely, getting lost in her own thoughts for a while and blacking out. He was nowhere to be found now anyways. There was an empty feeling clouding her mind, she knew she was alone now and realized that she was sitting in her car. She was feeling extremely intense right now. She had waves of euphoria sweeping up and down her entire body. She felt incredible, yet it was also like a living nightmare of epic proportions. She felt like she couldn’t get ahold of reality. She had to slap herself a couple of times to make sure she wasn’t dreaming or something. She was sitting outside of her house parked in her car with no memory of how she got there. It seemed like it was only a minute ago that she was in his home with him. She must have woken up just now, it was the only thing that made sense. She reached and could feel her purse on the side of her which made her feel a little better. She could see her cellphone in it so she had to have left and been at least clear enough not to lose anything. She got out of her car and walked to the house feeling shivers going up and down her spine, making her feel as if she had to catch her breath for a minute. She must still be having some sort of an anxiety attack.
She went inside after fumbling for her keys for a bit, letting her automatic functions take over because she couldn’t concentrate enough to see which key was hers. She couldn’t believe that this attack was happening for so long, she wondered if there might be something else wrong with her as well. The thought passed through her mind, being married, making her chuckle. She suddenly found that so funny she couldn’t stop herself from laughing. She became aware of how loud she was being and closed the door. She walked further inside, almost tripping over the shoes on the landing. She went upstairs and saw her husband sitting there watching TV. She realized exactly how bad he looked. He didn’t take care of himself at all. He was a waste of life and she couldn’t imagine what his purpose might be, besides making her life a living hell.
She was supposed to kill him for her new love, suddenly she missed him terribly. She didn’t know how to get ahold of him either, he only called from a private number. She wanted to call him and tell him to come and get her and take her away from this place. She didn’t even know what happened that she wound up at home. She was just glad that she hadn’t been arrested driving or something crazy like that before she woke up. It would sure be nice to find out from him. She thought of the phone bill. Yes! She went to it and looked for his number which wasn’t going to be private on the bill. She found a number that kept repeating and she knew it had to be the one he was calling from all the time.
She went into the backyard still feeling pretty intensely, wishing he would pop up from the darkness of her backyard and take her the way she knew only he could. She wanted her moment like Romeo and Juliet where he would come and woo her from the darkness of the porch, she needed him right now. She dialed the number and waited for an answer from the other end. She got the recorded voice of a man saying that this prepaid user didn’t have any minutes! It was a disposable prepaid phone! She started getting angry. She wanted out of this hellhole so badly that she couldn’t bear it. She could hardly think straight, she felt really woozy or something and her reality was a bit drunkened. She went to lay down on her bed and as she was in there, she imagined her husband sitting in the living room watching TV, wasting his life away. She couldn’t help but imagine taking the largest butcher’s knife out of their kitchen drawer, walking up behind him and slitting his throat. She imagined the blood splattering up and onto the wall as she did it and she couldn’t help but feel a bit of glee, as she thought about him taking his last breath. She suddenly couldn’t fight it anymore and fell asleep on her bed, tired and woozy, with a half-smile on her face. She only wished she had the balls to do something like that. She imagined her stalker holding her as she fell asleep, feeling total bliss in the fantasy that her and her new lover could be together forever.